National Pig Day...

Okay, we have to admit, we had no idea there was a national day of pigs, or a national day of pig celebration. (given the obesity rate in this country, we figured every day was a day of celebrating being pigs). but this is the day, march 1st, national pig day. so, get ready to send out those cards to all your favorite pigs...

oh, and click on the pig to order some delicious gummy bacon candy, because damn fool, you can't eat pig on national pig day. or can you?

The Three Not-So-Little Pigs...

Once Upon a Time...

There were three not-so-little pigs 

who lived in the bad economy forest 

(formerly known as America) 

and one day they turned on the news

and saw the big bad wolf 

(formerly known as Wall Street) 

getting a big ol' 700 billion dollar handout

from the government.

So, the three not-so-little pigs hopped in their private jets

and flew to Washington DC 

(formerly known as Cow Town)

and sat a big ol' table and looked all sad and said..

Hey, we want money too.

But the government wasn't handing out money that day.

(Especially when the government found out none of the pigs 

were going to be giving up their private jets 

anytime soon as a gesture of good faith)

So the three not-so-little pigs were shit outa luck.

The End.

now, if you're wondering what this has to do with bacon,

remember this: bacon comes from pigs.

bacon is tasty and delicious.

pigs (like the ones pictured above) are greedy assholes 

who fly around in private jets begging for taxpayer money

so they can keep making crappy automobiles.

maybe it's time we got us some bacon from these worthless pigs.