Who would object to this?

this must be what a nativity scene in heaven looks like.

you know, if heaven is a messy oven.

thanks to our friends at the burning man bacon list for the tip.

will the awesomeness ever stop?

apparently not...

just add water?

and then what? sit back and enjoy the miracle of bacon drink tabs?

sounds like awesomeness to us.

the only infinite you need to know...

not like this is a surprise or anything. those of us who love our bacon know that it's tasty goodness passes through time and space and out of knowing. but now there is a tee-shirt that explains it to those who need a visual.

this is some sick sh*t right here...

this is My First Bacon, a cuddly fluff of nonsense for your child to hug. it's hard to know where to begin with something this wrong. seriously, bacon is our favorite thing in the known world, but you don't cuddle with bacon, except right before you eat it. and if children try to eat this toy, they will surely choke or at the very least, become constipated (poly fiber fill is tough to digest). it just sends the wrong message.

wrong. wrong. wrong. and to make matters worse, it talks.

we want one.

holiday news this good can't wait..

alright, maybe it could wait a little..

kids, this is the jones bacon soda holiday gift pack. we know, we were a little scared at first too. but with 2 bottles of bacon soda, a package of bacon popcorn (microwavable), a package of bacon gravy AND a tube of bacon lip balm, this has all the makins' for a very bacony holiday. everybody knows somebody who would enjoy the thoughtfulness behind the gift of bacon soda, right? right?

okay, it sounds a little disgusting, but i bet if you added some bacon flavored vodka it'd wash that popcorn and gravy combination right down. and don't forget to balm those lips.

why didn't we think of this?

there are so many good reasons to be in new york this time of year. there's the yankees in the playoffs. the fall colors. and of course bacon-palooza. all things bacon in the greatest city in amerika. what else could you want?

for the enterprising chef/cop...

every once in a while, somebody comes up with an interesting way to serve bacon. and while the whole bacon donut thing has been done (several times), this seemed a little more substantial than just sprinkling your favorite donut with bacon. seriously, you can sprinkle bacon over just about anything and it works (with the possible exception of gefilte fish, which should not be eaten anyway). i think what drew us to this recipe was the notion that is was a complete breakfast, coffee included. bacon fans, we present coffee syrup donuts with bacon.

you can thank us later.

six degrees of strangeness..

we have said many times that we love all things bacon, and we've been made to understand that should include kevin bacon and while that makes a certain amount sense, nothing about this..

..a bust of kevin bacon made entirely of bacon makes any sense whatsoever. check it for yourself, the story is here. and while we sort how we feel about this (seriously, look at the damn thing, it's hardly appetizing and it doesn't even really look like mr. bacon), it is bacon to the second power.

as for art? well, that's in the eye of the beholder.

hey, it's in a museum. somebody must think it's art.

seriously, you can't steal bacon...

we

know

how

it

is...

you're in the meat section of the grocery store and at the far end, bathed in a glowing aura of deliciousness is the bacon.

your tummy rumbles. when was the last time you had a really good piece of bacon?

okay, a couple of hours ago. but it seems like an eternity. your stomach rumbles again. you wish you hadn't left your antacid in the car.

all of a sudden, you hear your name...

wake up, dumbass. you're on closed circuit teevee stealin' bacon.

a silly excuse for cooking bacon...

here at baconics, we're not huge fans of automatic weapons. we're okay with hand guns and hunting rifles (and shotguns, cuz of the cool sound they make). and if you're paranoid about the government infringing on your personal space, we can understand your desire to be equally armed. but the idea of any schmuck being able to lay their hands on one doesn't even remotely sound sensible. in fact, the best use of a privately owned automatic weapon came to us this morning via Fark/Youtube.

check it out here.

and remember, school is back in session. make sure you give your little student a proper ration of delicious bacon before you send them off to daycare/school. no matter how you cook it, bacon has something for everybody.

Some things cannot be captured on film...

this is one of those things.

this is the all bacon burger, as featured on GeekDad. it wasn't until we read the amazing story of the quest for this all bacon burger that we were truly impressed. many have tried, many have failed. your call on this one. but seriously, an all bacon burger?

slip that between two pieces of chicken and we bet it'd sell like..

all bacon hotcakes?

how wrong is this?

bacon is not your enemy...

some sort of devil bacon nonsense. available at comicon 2010,

the science is in, baby...

..and it's beautiful. truck on over to thinkgeek and get your science on.

ht to manderso nation.

Summer reading...

so, you're sitting at the beach reading a book.

ask yourself: is my book as awesome as Zingerman's Guide to Better Bacon?

yeah, it's doubtful.

we become frightened...

..by the beauty of this incredible world we live in.

rainbow bacon, kids. it's now a reality. take a few moments to breath.

Wondering what to do with the kids this summer?

two words, baby: bacon camp.

thanks to the folks at laughingsquid.com for this tasty way to get your kids outa your hair.

waste of bacon?

you decide...

for more, click here

Patron Saint of Bacon

hey, kids, check it out...

it's Saint Anthony, Patron Saint of Bacon.

well, okay, it's not really Saint Anthony, Patron Saint of Bacon, it's more like a mini-figurine. a gift from a wonderful group of kids up in ashland oregon (i'd name 'em here, but knowing you folks they'd never get a moment's peace until every needy child on this great blue ball had a St. Anthony of their own). it even comes with a bacon prayer...

praise be to the bacon gods.

Off the bacon track...

click the pic to enlarge...

A little late for valentine's day...

does anybody really need a special occasion to send a bouquet of these babies?

we think not.

Hiding in plain sight..

the question most asked these days. where have we been? you could call it regrouping, but that would suggest we were a group once and somedays we aren't too sure. anyway, mccain making an ass of himself at the "don't ask, don't tell" hearings seemed like a good enough occasion to shrug off the new years introspectfest and come out of the closet..

wait, that doesn't sound right.