Pandemic, my ass...

heard mr. t showed up for jury duty today in chicago. figured that sense of civic duty deserved special appreciation (whether mr. t reads baconics or not). also, this swine flu nonsense has got to be reined in. seriously, how foolish do we need to be?

Reflections on our collective history of violence...

yeah, we've been hiding mr. banana® for just the right moment.

it would seem that moment is upon us. someone suggested we  join the NRA today because the NRA is all about fighting government control and the re-establishment of the constitution. turns out the ACLU is impotent, and besides, the NRA has all the money and guns. 

reminds us of the old adage: if all you have is a hammer, then you see every problem as a nail.

money and guns. that's funny.

and oh yeah, click the pic for large version.

Stop trashing the place for a day...

a little something in recognition of earth day 2009.

More Spring Break Entertainment...

believe us when we say we're bored out of our minds.

please enjoy the next installment of carl & covinski.

More fun with Carl & Covinski

it's spring break here at baconics. which means that there are young men running hither and yon, looking for ways to ease the monotony of unstructured foolishness. this is when computer projects have a certain appeal. the youngest member of team baconics did the character drawings for this series and we feel he's deserving of some recognition. so, here's to you, youngest member of team baconics. nice work.

Sorry, kids...

INTERNET BACON IS NO LONGER COOL.

sad to say, but when the LA Times business blog covers something, it is officially passe.

you can still enjoy bacon's chewy/crunchy smoky goodness, (and we recommend you do, in this crazy messed up world, delicious bacon is one of the few constants), but baconics will pare back on linking to bacon awesomeness around the 'net. Like yesterday's awesome april fools joke from thinkgeek.com.

let's be real folks, we're not just about bacon. we're about...

..well, we'll have to think about that.

Back to Bacon

Squeez Bacon™ that is.

thanks to the smart asses at thinkgeek.com

and our good buddies over at firsttard for pointing us

in the right direction.

Might Be On 2 Something Here

okay, this is a little more our style. 

it is, after all, a jab at business as usual.

but we can't stop playing around 

with these wonderful toys.

Not about bacon or politics..

 

might be a new trend here at baconics.

but who knows?

Every once in a while...

we have to drop what we're doing and pay homage to an idea so...

...awesome, it boggles the mind while clogging the arteries. folks, we offer up humbly and without anybody's permission:

THE BACON EXPLOSION

remember who loves ya, baby.

I have a dream...

it's a ridiculous one, of course.

lunch the box was thinking he might get his hands

on some of that stimulus money if he was properly situated.

unfortunately, unless he's in line for a bonus from the failed

Bacon And Loan Savings Bank,

he won't be stimulated much.

we be braggin' now...

man, did we call this or what?

(check Dec. 9, 2008  "Certain things are undeniable.."

It's gonna take a long time to erase this legacy...

Today...

today is about the remaking of america. 

today is the day we shed the fearmongers who ran this country into the ground on the idea it is better to be safe than free. today is the day we remove all remnants of the grand plan to establish an empire in a world that doesn't need any more empires. today is the day we stop using our strength to bully the planet into submission. today is the day we show greed and dishonesty and selfishness the door.

don't get us wrong, these same ideas can come right back in tomorrow, but today...

today is a day for hope.

(got your lunch the box lapel pin yet?)

just leave already

seems a shame to waste the first post of 2009 on this fucktard, but hey, his foolishness will probably define the next twenty years. we're glad he's gone. we hope he's plagued by nightmares for the rest of his days, but knowing his simpleton approach to faith and certainty, he'll probably sleep like a baby. 

so, here's to s.i.d.s.*

(*apologies to anyone who doesn't take this joke in the spirit it was delivered. you know who you are)

Last Item...

it seemed like a cheap shot, but like all parting, it can be such sweet sorrow...

..or it can be a tremendously cheap shot.

may 2009 be all you want it to be.

but make sure you have a back up plan.

Certain things are undeniable...

the sun rises in the east and sets in the west. there are dark places in the world. thinking is the greatest enemy of perfection. everything sleeps. animals cannot speak in complete sentences. people live. people die. and the time in between is a mixed bag. breathing is good.

scum continues to float to the top.

Lunch The Box

presents

no bacon 4 u

a review of the undeniable scum that always floats to the top... and why we're taking away their bacon.

here's a guy who needs to have his bacon removed with extreme prejudice... 

this is Illinois Governor, Rod Blagojevich. he decided he would sell Barrack Obama's recently vacated senate seat. he decided to do this while he was under investigation. he decided to brag about it on a tapped phone. not only did Rod decide to commit  crime, but he was stupid about it to boot.

we imagine the next time Rod sees bacon, he'll be trading buttsecks for it in cell block "d".

The Gift That Keeps On Giving...

well, the holidays are right around the corner and nothing says "merry christmas" like another worthless token of empty headed consumerism. 

nothing says "i care" like a personal gift festooned with personalized images and words.

nothing says "i gave up" like grabbing the first cheesy knick-knack you see, just so you have something to hand to that special someone on christmas morning.

because that's what it's all about, isn't it?

Seriously, it's a legitimate question...

these are hard times, no doubt about that...

and nothing sez  get bent, hard times  like a frivolous purchase of worthless crap. especially when that worthless crap promises to be the ebay money maker of the next century. (and if you can't wait that long, you can get your postage and handling charge back at your next garage sale).

own your historic piece of the 

delicious victory.

Why The Fuck Not?

(click the pic for the full on glory of it all)

In preparation...

tomorrow, being thanksgiving, is a day for breaking out the impressive recipes and trying to make them work with turkey.

it's a tough bit of business. this year we're having a salad with a lovely bacon vinaigrette and for some serious goodness: bacon candy. but we have to say, haven't seen anything like this before

and if  we hadn't already planned on how we were going to make turkey digestible this year, we'd definitely be doing this...

Turbaconducken

and since we're all over the baconfest, check out Bacon Today.

happy thanksgiving, kids. stuff yourselves silly.